Most of us can expect to die in a hospital or a nursing home of sorts. The main role which is played out by the people working in these institutions is: help find a cure, or if the patient is terminal, try and keep them as comfortable as possible until the end. It seems that these professionals become accustomed to equating the administration of drugs to the comfort of the patient. Of-course drug therapy is necessary and effective for many individuals nearing the end of their lives, but it is not the only way for a professional to provide comfort for a dying person.
Loved ones also find themselves at a loss in regards to how they should provide comfort and support for a dying family member. Many friends and relatives use the excuse that they would just be getting in the way of the doctors or nurses. This is their best attempt to avoid the dying. Sometimes flowers and cards are as close as anyone can get to making a physical effort of support.
The medical community seems to be infected with a determination to keep us alive longer and longer. They constantly push themselves to expand the human lifespan and engineer two more seconds of life for our hearts, livers, and lungs. They seem to forget about the whole of the picture as they stay focused on certain specifics. No matter the level of expertise or how much more life can be artificially given to us, we deserve to be found by those around us as deserving of attention and love on a very personal level.
I see so many people who after a life lived full of determination and will, amount to a pile of needles and tubing, sanitizing foam and handfuls of pills. Not only is this picture a sad one, I also find it to be missing the point entirely. The cycle seems to be one where the families are left wandering from place to place throughout and after the dying process. First to the doctor then to the chaplain then to the funeral director and finally to an empty home where they are left alone with more questions than answers. The families are left with all the “what ifs” and the loved one who died was most likely never given a chance to find or feel a sense of purpose and completion. Dying is not simple, but it is irreversible and permanent so preparation is the key.
I want you to think what it would mean for you to acquire the knowledge that you are not going to live. What would it mean to know that you are going to die? At first, gone is the desire for possessions and future planning. There are no goals to achieve, no power to be had and no use for touting authority. Suddenly there is a complete and total internalization of what life is or better yet, what life was. The sense of inevitable detachment is overwhelming and you begin to fade into and out the not so clear picture of what is yet to come. Regrets are more real and close to your heart than ever before. There is also a huge question mark developing in regards to every thing you do, say, touch and think about. Suddenly the future is no more tangible than a ride to mars.
The family members of the dying also go through many of the same realizations except for one significant difference, they run the risk of living with regrets. So many of the people I speak with bring to me their guilt and regret about the choices made during the last days of their loved ones life. They say, now they know they should have done things differently. Most of the guilt and worry comes from the thought of having done more for their loved one, things would have turned out better. I believe it to be very important to point out that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. Every realization, every thought, every action, every disease, every birth and every death all happen just as they are supposed to.
The best way we learn to die well is by learning to live well. It is difficult but not impossible to learn even on a death bed. I help people learn to live while they are dying and that is what gives me joy as a psychic doing Gods work. When you only have a year, six months or less to live and you meet me, the first common goal we establish is to get you living life. I want you to live through your own death. I want to prove to you that there is no such thing as ceasing to exist. I have an advantage over a therapist or a doctor because I can feel thoughts and see feelings. I am also able to answer the big questions about God and the Other Side, but me answering questions about where you go after you die is such a small part of what I do. The bigger reason for me being with a dying individual is about their ability to find the life that exists in death.
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