I have so many conversations with so many individuals in my life. However, many people are surprised to find out that some of those closest to me are also those who struggle the most with God, faith and unconditional love. I recently had a live chat conversation with someone very dear to my heart. I decided to reproduce the transcript of our conversation here on my blog for all of you to read.
In order to preserve privacy, I am using the initial C to represent the person who is asking the questions.
If you have ever had thoughts of feeling off-track or simply not being sure about what to believe… this ones for you. This is a real and candid conversation about finding life’s purpose and the truth regarding the big questions in life.
C: My life is stagnant and boring. You said that we choose our life before we get down here so that we can learn certain things… how do you know what it is that your supposed to learn?
Me: Usually (not always) it’s the one thing in life you keep getting wrong. The one thing that you are always failing at and always have to do over and over.
But of-course there can be MANY different things one comes into life to learn.
C: OK but what if it seems I keep failing at a few things over and over… but they are all intertwined?
Me: Then you may have signed up to learn them all. Lucky You! lol
Yes, it’s common to have your lessons all related to one another.
C: So how do I know which is the main thing I’m supposed to learn?
Me: It doesn’t necessarily matter that you “know” which lesson is the MAJOR lesson. Your life is designed to teach you the lesson whether you know it or not. But you can ask God to help you realize what elements in your life are the ones you should be focusing on now. However, the life lessons your supposed to learn will play out in your life regardless of you being 100% aware.
C: What if I don’t believe in God… I don’t understand God and prayer and faith… I don’t find a place or purpose for it in my life… What do I do?
How do I find “GOD”? I don’t think of things as a miracle or as an act of God… It just is. A sunrise isn’t a miracle… It just is… a birth isn’t a miracle… it just is. I don’t question or ponder these things personally, but in my life I question why? What is all this for? Why is this happening? How do I accept it as it is?
I see things happen to people… good things coming from bad situations and each person has said the same as you… turn to God. But I don’t know how or where to start. As much as I want to I can’t get myself to trust or believe.
Me: I understand where you’re coming from. For me, God is all things positive. I say, if you know love, then you know God. Because God IS Love. Does that help? I understand that everyone creates his or her own reality, beliefs and end-result in life. Whatever you come to accept as real becomes your own truth. Your own accepted reality is what rules as law in your own life. However, if you give in to believing in a devil and demons, then you are also saying you need fear in your life in order to feel balanced. If you accept only positive behavior and love as your real truth, then you do not need anything but the positive in order to feel balanced and close to God.
Some people only feel God thru the bad, negative parts of life. They don’t understand God without believing in an evil side of God. I don’t believe that way. I accept God as only those things that are positive. I believe that all people know God, but some call it love, some people call it mother earth, some people call it the universe… etc.
C: OK, but negativity always seems to find its way back into my life. Whenever things start going in the right direction I ruin it with negativity. Why does this happen?
Me: First of all, negativity is mans alone. Negativity in all its forms never comes from God. God’s relationship with us is very much like the saying: “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” However, if the student is only willing to accept a white man with long hair in a robe as the image of God, then that is what they will get. And to them, that is the truth because that is what they see.
C: So how do I stop allowing the devil to ruin it? How do I keep the devil out of my life?
Me: I personally have absolutely no proof of the existence of a devil. But there is much proof in the world of people needing someone to blame for the lessons that they signed up to learn in life. You cant learn anything if your life is perfect, and since the whole reason your living here on the earth is to learn and perfect… its pretty much a guarantee that your life will not be perfect. Negativity will rear its ugly head and when it does that is your queue to figure out what the lesson is supposed to be. There is no such thing as a devil that goes around torturing people just for the sake of causing harm. There are however, many many people who come into life to learn and grow but then find that its easier to blame someone else rather than confront their life lessons head on.
If someone can open their mind and release their fears, they then begin to see God in a more personal way, in a more detailed and intimate way. God suddenly starts showing up in all sorts of different and never seen before ways. I personally see God in each and every person I meet. I truly feel as though I am speaking directly to God in each person I cross paths with.
C: But then that raises the question… aren’t their always good and bad… good and evil… positive and negative? Everything in life has two sides, so how can you view life as all positive?
Me: I don’t view life as all positive. I view life as a learning experience that can’t take place or be completed unless you experience negativity. Life isn’t about good verses evil; life is about Love verses Fear. I view God as all things positive, but God and negative life experience are two very different things.
C: OK, but one affects the other does it not?
Me: Of-course one affects the other. However, one cannot take the place of the other completely… not while in life anyway. Most people live life looking for peace of mind and a sense of contentment but fail to realize that it’s impossible to attain that state of mind while you’re in a body. You’re here to learn. PERIOD. Hopefully you get to help a lot of people along the way and during your experience in life you realize and give the love God has for you, but unfortunately as long as your walking this earth in a body… you will not experience being 100% content. When some people find this out but still cant comprehend what’s going on, they place blame on someone or something else instead of taking responsibility for living their life.
C: I’ve asked my friend Jennifer the same questions. She said that believing in God and having faith is a choice. But for someone like me, it just doesn’t resonate in my soul. I guess I’m searching for an epiphany moment or something where the light bulb goes off.
Me: You should know this: YOU CAN ALWAYS TELL IF YOU’RE A GOOD PERSON SIMPLY BY REALIZING THAT YOU ARE SEARCHING FOR ANSWERS. Good people are always “searching”, “finding”, “looking” for their way in life. The bad eggs are always those who have no regard for figuring out the mysterious of their own life. They have no need for questioning anything in life because they are only concerned with an agenda that places their self-interests first with no regard for others.
C: Will I ever get the answers to my questions?
Me: I don’t mean to become all philosophical on you but all the answers you seek can be found inside of you. There is an answer to every question in the entire universe. “Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you.”
C: OK, well I’ve been stalled for a few years now. I’m rusted to the damn track, I need some oil. I start to move a little and then I get stuck again. How did you get this way? How did you find your track? How did you get so wise? Ugh… I feel like I need a sign, and not some little itty bitty one that I wont see… a HUGE Blinking LED Sign that says: Hey stupid, keep going your getting close!
Me: People spend a lot of time looking for signs out in the world, but you must remember what I said earlier about the answers you seek being inside of you. Since that’s where all your answers and wisdom exist, the journey becomes very personal. No other person in existence will be able to find his or her answers the same way you do. Everyone is unique in that respect.
C: I feel like Alice in Wonderland. I’m Alice and all my questions are answered with more riddles leading me to ask more questions. How did you find the answers to your questions about life? How did you find your way?
Me: I haven’t found my path in life, I’m still looking. I will be looking the whole time I’m alive. I don’t plan to fully find it while I’m alive either. After my life is over I am sure I will be closer to understanding everything but even then I don’t believe I’ll have it all.
C: Well, where do I start? I need something to start with. Once I have that I am sure that more paths will open and hopefully I will get to be where I need to be… but where do I start?
Me: You have already started. When you began to wonder about all these things is when you really started.
C: OK, so how do you stay so positive? Your always positive, you never seem down or sad. You accept things for what they are and even if its terrible you still find the positive in it.
Me: Just keep asking questions. Look inside yourself. Read books, talk to people and be open-minded. Respect the ways of others and never give up.
I am not always as positive as I should be. I have negative emotions too, but I try to live by this: “IF YOU DON’T LIKE SOMETHING, THEN CHANGE IT. IF YOU CAN’T CHANGE IT, THEN CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK ABOUT IT.”
C: How did you come to believe what you believe?
Me: I test it. I put what I believe to a test in the world. I also hear people who are no longer in a body and I frequently have visions. So that has given me lots of insight, but I have put it many many hours of research, prayers, tears, and love into “Searching” and then testing what I find. The more I search, the more I realize how everything is completely and totally connected.
We are all of God. We all come from the same source, all of us able to do the same things because we are the same thing. The same love, the same knowledge, the same truth. But the ways in which we go about getting to that level of understanding are all very unique. The experience of attaining knowledge and realizing the truth is different for everyone.
I don’t do and have never done anything that anyone else can’t also do.
C: I have a lot to think about and will get back to you regarding my thoughts and future findings! Thank you.
This conversation represents so many thoughts from so many people in the world. I found it to be a wonderful example of someone who knows that they want to move in the right direction, but isn’t sure about what that means in regard to their beliefs as a whole. It’s intimidating to step into territory thats new and unfounded in your mind. However, the reward in life for expanding your mind, body and soul is one of infinite knowledge and love… both of which you can ultimately take with you when you die.
